You can compare my life here in Brazil with a beautiful big blue ocean, with big and little waves. Sometimes I’m just floating on the water with the sun on my face and sometimes it feels like a big wave of emotions is flooding over me. It’s not always the life stories of the boys and girls on the streets that are overflowing me. It’s also living within a community, which is not always that easy. I’m living in a big house with 10 other people. There are over five different cultures in this house in total and English is always the second language of these people. This gives fun and educational moments, but besides this it can also cause tension, irritation and exhaustion. This in combination with the work we do makes it a really big challenge for us to work and live well together. If I’m honest, I’m sure that if we wouldn’t be here for the exact same goals, it would have been impossible to keep going. We’re all here to serve God and to show the ones who are pushed out of society His love. Not just words, but deeds!
The confrontations I have with myself are not fun at all. I can be so selfish and I’m having such a hard time to be humble. To put other people before myself. Instead, I give my opinions without thinking. Even when no one has asked for them. Good right, this is a process I need to go through and I want to embrace. I don’t want to stand still, but I want to grow to become a better person.
Despite the though emotional work and personal processes I’m going through, I’m actually very happy. I found my life goal. Which gives me a lot of peace. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have other desires and dreams. I’d love to go to the school of worship. Singing and praising God is something that brought me a lot of healing. I want other people to experience that as well. I’m not quite sure if it’s really is something for me, but who knows, if God wants me to do this I’m sure it will happen some day. Or following a counselling school, which sounds amazing as well. Learning to counsel teenagers and adults to keep going and live life.
One more month and then my dear friend Alice is coming to Brazil. I can’t wait to see her! I notice that a lot friendships and contacts I had in Holland are changing. It seems like people are used to my absence and like some friendships have changed. This makes me sad, but I’m glad some friendships will stay forever. Apperently it’s part of life. Life is like a ride on the train, some people stay till the end and others will step out of the train within the journey.
Alice will take me to Rio and Fortaleza. There Will I meet my special friend from Dts Daniel.
I’m such a blessed person!